How understanding your strengths and personality can help you lead, connect and grow 

By: Lauren Doerner, PhD
Kappa Delta Sr. Training and Development Manager 

“To thine own self be true.”  

Maybe you know this quote from Hamlet as the advice Polonius gives to his son Laertes. Perhaps you know it as something scrawled on Fancy’s locket in a Reba McIntire song.  Or, even still, maybe you know it as something your granny said when you were struggling to make a decision. However you first heard it, the message is simple and powerful: know who you are and let that guide how you show up in the world.  

But living out that advice isn’t always so straightforward. Self-awareness — the conscious knowledge of your character, feelings, motives and desires — requires deliberate practice and reflection — a more daunting task than simply repeating a Shakespearean quote and hoping for the best! 

Fortunately, there are tools to help us do just that. Personality and strengths assessments aren’t about labeling or limiting who we are; they are about giving language to what already exists so we can lead, connect and communicate with confidence.  

Where to Start 

You’ve likely heard of assessments like CliftonStrengths, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or the Enneagram. Each offers a slightly different perspective for understanding yourself. Think of them as different courses in the “school of you!” 

At the surface, CliftonStrengths highlights your natural talents and what you do best; MBTI focuses on your cognitive preferences and how you perceive information and make decisions; the Enneagram explores your core motivations, fears and desires — why you do what you do. You can rely on information from each assessment for different scenarios and in multiple contexts — often simultaneously! So, let’s break down these popular assessments to get a better understanding of what they offer and how you could use them.    

• CliftonStrengths focuses on what you naturally do best: your patterns of thinking, feelings and behaving, and encourages you to lead with those talents.  

• The MBTI explores how you process information and make decisions, helping you understand your preferences for communication, structure and energy.  

• The Enneagram looks deeper at your core motivations, fears and desires, offering insight into your emotional growth and stress responses.  

No single assessment tells the whole story. Together, they offer a fuller picture, allowing you to use multiple insights in a single situation or singular insights across a plethora of scenarios. Use the links above to take the assessments at a low or no cost and start your journey to self-discovery!   

Why Your Self-Awareness Matters 

When I first began presenting on and teaching groups about CliftonStrengths and The Enneagram, I often heard concerns like, “This test is putting me in a box!” or “I am so much more than what this report says!” It’s true! These tools aren’t meant to define you; they are meant to support you. You can take what resonates, leave what doesn’t and use the insights as a starting point rather than a finish line to your development.  

Self-awareness supports the principles that Kappa Deltas hold true: living with integrity, being engaged and responsible leaders, building confidence in oneself and others, and inspiring action in those around them. When you understand yourself, you’re better equipped to communicate clearly, navigate differences with empathy and show up authentically for your sisters.  

Putting Insight Into Action   

So, what can this actually look like in real life — in chapters, friendships, and careers?  

For collegians, strengths and personality insights can be especially helpful to chapter leaders and those aspiring to serve in leadership roles. A chapter officer who knows she thrives on planning and organizing may take the lead on timelines and logistics, while another who excels at relationship building may focus on member engagement.  

For alumnae, self-awareness carries into careers, families, marriages and volunteer roles. Understanding your strengths can help you advocate for yourself at work, lead with confidence on a CAB or navigate difficult conversations with clarity and compassion. For example, knowing that half of your CAB processes information internally, while the other half are external thinkers, ensures you can give each team member what they need when leading.    

Even if you’re not serving in a formal leadership role, these insights still shape everyday interactions. Understanding your strengths can help you build deeper friendships, communicate more clearly with roommates or coworkers, and recognize what energizes or drains you. When you understand how you naturally support others — whether through encouragement, organization, creativity or thoughtful listening — you can contribute to your chapter, workplace or community in meaningful ways. 

Recognizing these differences can reduce frustration, strengthen teamwork and help everyone feel valued for what they bring to chapter roles, relationships and our sisterhood . When you understand what people naturally do best, it becomes easier to put the right people in the right roles. Knowing how you give and receive support can create stronger friendships, better collaboration and more fulfilling interactions. 

Across every stage of life, these tools help us better understand both ourselves and one another. They remind us our differences aren’t obstacles to overcome, they’re strengths that make our sisterhood stronger. 

A Confidence to Carry Forward 

When we strive to know ourselves fully, we build the confidence to act with integrity, speak with intention and lead with heart. “To thine own self be true” becomes more than a familiar phrase; it becomes a lived practice. As Kappa Deltas, that self-awareness can strengthen sisterhood, deepen connections and empower you to lead a purposeful life. When you know who you are, you are better prepared to support one another and carry the values of Kappa Delta with confidence, wherever life takes you.