Kelcie McKinley Phillips, Beta Sigma-Southern Mississippi, has seen recruitment from all sides. First, as a potential new member, she felt her mother’s encouragement to go in with an open mind and find the place that felt most like home. She found home in Kappa Delta, and Kelcie spent her collegiate years highly involved in recruitment and chapter leadership. In her alumnae years, Kelcie has supported KD chapters in recruitment in a variety of ways — first on KD’s staff as a chapter development consultant and later serving in a number of local and national volunteer roles advising recruitment.

And with two daughters — McKinley, who will be a senior at Mississippi State University and Annie, who will be a first-year student at the University of Southern Mississippi this fall — Kelcie also knows the role of mom during recruitment.

“Recruitment can be an emotional and stressful time for both moms and daughters, so knowing that in advance and preparing for the ups and downs can make all the difference,” she says. “Be there for your daughter through every moment from the joyful phone calls and texts after a great day of recruitment to the more difficult conversations if the chapter she hoped for decides to go in a different direction.”

We asked Kelcie to share her advice for moms with daughters going through recruitment:

Listen.

Listen to your daughter without immediately offering advice. This can be incredibly difficult because as moms, we want to fix things, answer every question and ease her worries. But more often than not, what she truly needs is simply for us to listen.

Ask questions.

Asking thoughtful questions encourages your daughter to open up. As she talks through her thoughts and feelings, she may find the answers on her own without you having to provide them. It is such a joy to watch her grow in confidence and maturity throughout recruitment.

Love them! Love them no matter what!

Love your daughter regardless of where she ends up on Bid Day.

As the mom of two Kappa Delta legacies, all I ever wanted was to share my love and sisterhood for Kappa Delta with my daughters. While that wasn’t possible for one of them, I was genuinely happy for McKinley on Bid Day. I still remember hugging her as tight as I could because I knew she had found her home in Alpha Delta Pi.

So please, love your daughter wholeheartedly, celebrate her excitement and support her wherever she finds her home. At the end of the day, what matters most is that she feels loved by you, not by the letters she wears. More than anything, she needs your love, encouragement and support every step of the way.