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Letters to My Best Friend: Big/Little Friendships

In honor of International Women’s Friendship Month, we will be highlighting a few of the many empowering, uplifting female bonds that make women’s friendship so meaningful. Reagan Dunnam writes to Brianna Marquinez, her Kappa Delta sister and “big” in the following letter:

Dear Brianna,

When Kappa Delta HQ asked for submissions of big/little stories to celebrate International Women’s Friendship Month, I knew I had to tell ours! We have become so close in less than a year, and I wanted to share how grateful I am for you.

During recruitment, I felt as if I had to put on a different persona with each house I went to, and it was difficult for me to relax and be myself — until I walked into Kappa Delta and met you. At first, I wondered if this might be a bad thing. I was worried I came across as boring and you wouldn’t want me to come back to Kappa Delta. But what I thought was me being boring, you saw as “vibrant.” When I read that word on the rose you gave me on Preference night, I knew that Kappa Delta was where I belonged. You saw beyond the façade to who I really am. I knew then that Kappa Delta was the sisterhood where I belong.

Over the next few weeks of my new-member experience, you did everything in your power to make sure I felt welcomed and included. While I thought we would be close during in our time in the chapter, I secretly hoped you would be my big, too! I knew I wanted you to be one of my best friends whether we were big and little or not. We have gone through so many similar experiences, and while we love to have fun together, I knew I could turn to you about the “real” stuff as well. And you have certainly been my rock through all the real stuff 2020 has thrown us!

Even before big/little reveal, the rest of our sisters could see how similar you and I are and how close we were becoming. That made me so proud! I love being compared to you: your maturity, strength and independence are something I will always look up to and strive to match. When you revealed yourself to me as my big, I knew it was meant to be all along. I am so grateful for your stability and guidance that has helped me through a crazy freshman year. From friendship advice to relationship advice, you always know exactly what to say. You remind me to take a breath and think through my words and intentions before acting.

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While you are my rock, you helped me branch out, have fun and meet new people, too. I have so much fun getting ready for social events, going to chapter meetings or just hanging out in your room with you. We literally can’t even go a day without talking. I know I can always count on you for a laugh or a shoulder to lean on. I am so grateful for our friendship, and I am so grateful you are my big. You mean the absolute world to me, and I can’t wait to make so many more memories!


Reagan Dunnam

opens in a new windowEta Upsilon-North Carolina

Learn more about IWFM and ways to celebrate your female friendships opens in a new windowhere.