September 11, 2019
My expectations were low when I walked through the doors of the Kappa Delta house for the first time. Out of all the sororities on my campus, KD was the chapter I knew the least about. All I knew was Kappa Delta was all about building confidence. As a freshman in college, I was still figuring things out and assumed I would not be a good fit. I did not feel brave or confident enough to join KD. I’m so glad they proved me wrong.
I didn’t always have an issue with self-esteem. As a little kid, I was full of confidence. Even as a baby, I would lock eyes with an adult in the grocery store and smile until they smiled back. My confidence began to dwindle as I grew up, and I became quiet and shy. I began to notice how people reacted to loud or outspoken women, and I started toning down my own exuberant personality.
When I moved away to college, I was hit with both a freeing realization and a burden of responsibility: I could be anybody I wanted to be on this campus. College felt like an opportunity to reinvent myself in a new place. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened.
Halfway through my freshman year, I found myself in an abusive relationship where I was made to feel undeserving of love and affection and guilty for having friends. My confidence was nonexistent, and I did not like myself physically or emotionally. I did not know what to do, but then I signed up for recruitment.
I prepared answers to the questions I anticipated being asked at the sorority houses. As I visited each one, I found myself saying the same things over and over: “I’m an English and psychology double major.” “Yes, it’s a lot of writing.” “No, I don’t think I want to teach.”
However, when I walked into Kappa Delta, I was surprised to find myself suddenly abandoning my rehearsed spiel. Katie welcomed me as I entered and asked, “You’re an English major, right? What book are you most passionate about?” Anyone who knows me knows I’m never more in my zone than when I talk about books. Even at my darkest moments, my love for literature never faded.
Every member I met was genuinely interested in what I was saying. Within the first five minutes of being in Kappa Delta, I felt more confident and exuberant than I had in a long time. In that moment, I started to feel like myself again.
Kappa Delta helped me rediscover my confidence in the darkest time of my life. Getting out of the abusive relationship was not easy, and finding my confidence was gradual, but running home to Kappa Delta on Bid Day was the beginning of a new chapter of my life.
opens in a new windowAlpha Delta – Rhodes College
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